Why now? Because he makes me wish I could quit leading the student band. Once a month I lead a group of middle/high schoolers in some rockin' worship songs (tonight included a rockin Jesus Freak). It’s taking more time than I want. I feel trapped. No-win situation. I quit and there is no band. Or someone fills in and since I drive my son anyway, I’d be sitting in the wings while they play feeling guilty.
What's the big deal? It's just kids, right? My time is worth more, right?
The big deal is that my oldest Coleo is the new drummer. He just turned 13. He’s had a crappy couple years in middle school. He feels like an outcast. A Loner. Through drumming, he’s been given a chance to shine in front of his peers. He's really good. Sure his transitions need some work...but so would mine if he played a song having never heard it (a side effect of me not wanting to lead. Procrastinate and who suffers? the players. My son).
The verdict tonight? He was freaking awesome!! (note: I use the word 'freak' because it's used by a girl at school that likes to stab Coleo with that word to make him feel rotten...she's an effer too. Maybe he can wear ‘freak’ as a badge of honor that reflects his love for Jesus and drumming).
If I followed my satan-inspired motivation, I'd just quit so I wouldn't have to spend the time preparing and teaching. After all, it gets in the way of … of … well I can think of a couple good reasons but all kinds of friggin worthess reasons compared to the value this gives my son.
You should have seen him. Beaming! Walking off stage with accolades he would NEVER have gotten if I listened to that prick satan.
Here, take a look:
Here’s all the band lovin’ and rockin’. 2 high-schoolers, a college guy who all asked Cole to play…and an old man that while not cool, sports a cool guitar and can still pull off a decent lick or two.
Here’s the Coleo rockin. Now, this is a staged photo but he was actually playing Jesus Freak finale standing up! Freak! (the good version)So what now? Now I make a point to remember that it’s not about me. It’s not about my schedule. It’s not about my music (yet). It’s not about convenience and comfort. All the reasons that make me not want to do it are from satan (F’ker).
It’s about doing everything possible to get this young man the grounding to face the world on his own terms with the self-confidence he needs to grow and become who he wants to be, who Jesus wants him to be. He already loves Jesus…and lets others know without shame (I could learn some things from him). He already loves drumming. He’s also learning Bass and while on the way home made it clear he wants to sing. A potential triple threat that could save some future middle-schooler from a journey of pain by showing he’s been there, he knows, and yes, that satan is a f’ker.
And maybe that’s all I can do. He’s already gone through a rough couple of years, so I can use my God-given gifts of teaching rock to help him become all he can.
…and satan…stay the F’k away. He belongs to Jesus and I will do all I can do to help him soar.
(Sorry for the adjective candor. In a future post we can discuss the theological ramifications of using vulgarity to describe satan…or of using all lower case in the name…which I was told is basically giving satan the middle finger)
